1. It is Rosh Hashanah. Ok so that means it is a holy day but what am I doing that wouldn't be allowed? I am driving to get to the group meeting point but everyone I know drives to temple. I am doing a mitzvah (good charitable deed) so that means I should run not skip it.
2. Seth is in the hospital (that should have been #1 and the only reason it wasn't was because the Rosh Hashanah one was what I was struggling over all week whereas the Seth-in-the-hospital thing just came up yesterday). He is ok - just being kept in for observation but it is wrong of me to go running while he is in the hospital right? Except he told me to go.
3. Kids. Normally Seth is with the kids while I am running Saturday mornings. Pretty hard today since he is not home (see #2). But Noah is home (he is 16) and he babysits sometimes when we go out at night so this should be the same thing... except the kids will be awake. I left a couple of notes for the kids because I did not know who would wake up first and I only told Jonah my morning plan (well Noah too but I meant I didn't tell Leah). So I set them up with what they needed and slowly pushed myself out the door.
4. Guilt. See #1-3. That came with the conversion.
5. Lack of sleep. Not that I sleep much anyway (about 5 1/2 hours) (per night in case you needed clarification) but I had restless sleep last night. Go figure. And that alarm went off awfully early. It was so dark. I think I checked 3 different clocks to see if I had the right time. Don't know why it seemed so early - it was the same time I get up everyday. It's just I don't usually go straight out the door to run. The Magic Coffee helped get me going though.
So why did I ignore (well more like struggle with endlessly and lose sleep over) all the other points? Because I need to do these group runs if I have any hope of doing the half-marathon in January. I ran 6 miles today. Ironically the half way point was right next to my neighborhood. And the kids called me about that time. I was tempted to run home instead of do the other 3 miles. But how would I get my car later? Too complicated and kids were ok. So I stayed with my group. Plus my friend has a cold and she was running. I needed to stick with it.
It was tough. It was dark and humid to begin with. This changed to blinding sun and scorching heat. I missed dark and humid. This group is great though - they motivate you, the hydrate you every couple of miles, they run with you, they talk to you (never thought I would talk while running 6 miles!).
I ran today the same reason why I run every time. I run for therapy (this is as close to therapy that I have gotten). I do it for my parents who left us too young. 53 and 56 is young. Too too young. I do it for little Leah - the 2 year old from my kids' preschool who was diagnosed with leukemia last year. I do it in honor of other friends' lost parents. I do it for my friend who has struggled with cancer with one parent for 3 years and is now struggling with it with the other parent. I do it for the young woman who discovered her husband had leukemia 3 weeks after their honeymoon. I do it for another friend whose high school sweetheart discovered he had leukemia in college and passed away after they got married. I do it for my brother in law's sister who lost her husband to leukemia. I do it for the 15 year old that was seemingly healthy then hurt his head playing sports only to discovere he had cancer in his body when they ran the tests in the hospital for the head injury. I do it for the man with a family - a 5 year old daughter - who was told he had 8 months to live.
I do it for all of them. Living and fighting the disease or not living because the disease won. Don't let the disease keep winning. You may have your own hurdles and own reasons why you cannot donate. But maybe you can find something to donate to this worthy cause (even $5 helps!). We can win. We will win. And I will keep running.
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